I miss our little talks.



Matt and Josh looking brave.

Best face award goes to....Savannah!



Cheese.



The boys playing with the baby zipline, trying to clothesline people and/or shake me off of it. :)



Me beasting it up with Danny in my wake (Photo credit:Mark)



Er mer gersh, we have the same shirt on! Brooke, Mitch, and I. Precious.

Ty helping with decorating the youth room.:)

Drew playing at Katie's little sister's quinceanera!

Katie and Kara giving Kelly her last toy, an elephant named Ellie:)

Kara and Kelly hugging *dies from cuteness*

Kelly and all her friends!

Kelly with her mom and dad!

Drew making a creepy face, Katie and her cupcake, and my cheeseburger cupcake.

I got some brown grocery bags and I cut this out of them and put it on my wall. I now have one that says: "it's real love" and it is very good.

Hey guys. It has been almost a month. I apologize for not being present.

A lot of stuff has been going on. I have made a lot of decisions recently and just mulling them over in my head has just made it harder to talk about them, not just on a public blog, but with those closest to me.

Right now and for the past month, I have been spending a lot of time by myself and a lot of strange dreams have been occurring and lots of thinking has been done. I look at other people and think, "I need to be more like them, they have everything going for them."  And that is not good, or true.

I am so fearful of the future that I let that fear speak for me, even if I know that there is God, who is so great that I have nothing to fear or worry about. I am afraid that I will (or already have) made mistakes that I can never be at peace with or turn around.

The main one is if I choose the wrong college. With the big holiday season coming up, family members will be questioning my plans for not just next year, but for years after. I honestly don't know, and I know they will be all like "That's fine, you still have time" but I always feel like they are a little disappointed in my answer.

I want to leave, but what if it's wrong?What if I do awful in the classes? What if I get in debt because there is no way I can afford private school?  What if I leave and I find out it is not where God wants me to be.

But what if I don't go, and I miss something that could be really, really special. 

"How can I leave without hurting everyone that made me?"
~Regina Spektor, Small Town Moon

Sigh. It is so scary. I have to make this decision. I usually push all this to the back of my mind, and focus on having fun and enjoying wherever I am. But it is still there, along with countless other things to do.

I am sorry for this rant, but I just need prayer for God's guidance in my choices, and that I will make choices for Him, not for myself, my family, friends, or anyone else.And if you have experience with the whole college thing, let me know what you think.Because you guys are really fantastic and seriously have great, God-given wisdom.

I hope you all are well. How was your November? It has been a rough month for me, but I know that things will get better this month and in the new year.;)